Monday, January 28, 2008

Motherhood and Snow

The sun is still a good hour away from rising but the snowfall is illuminating the yard. About half a foot has come down and it continues to fall softly. I'm thinking about that gentle blanket of snow wrapping around the earth and realizing that my job of a mother is one in the same.

At least once a week I have 'one of those nights'. The kind where it takes hours to fall asleep. My mind jumps from one frame to the next on fast forward. Am I really strong enough to give up sugar for Lent? When will I get the quarterly grades turned in? Why is my two year old so hard to put to bed? I still haven't called the dentist. So last night I watched the clock strike midnight not able to turn off that constant noise in my head.

At 3am a gentle hand rubbed mine. "I had a bad dream" he said. For the next three hours he joyfully dreamed about winning the world soccer cup, upon my back. I dragged myself out of bed with my brow furrowed and that's when I saw it. The hush of nature that took place while I should have been sleeping. The beauty of God's gentle reminder that I could either spend my day growling at the kids about excessive noise, getting their work done and toys out of place. OR I could envelope each one with that love that only a mother can give. Kind, warm and nurturing. I'm so grateful to be this exhausted and would do it again and again knowing that these little ones are a gift to me. The gift of motherhood.

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